I woke up this morning to find that this here blog and the blog over at my portfolio site are being blocked by Google for being “attack sites.” I’m not sure how long they’ve been blocked because it wasn’t like anybody notified me. I just happened to pull up my blog (whatever it was I wanted to do I totally can’t remember anymore) when I saw a scary warning in my browser. I tried refreshing and even switched to another browser but that didn’t help. After doing a bit of digging around, I concluded that it probably had something to do with my WordPress installations (the blog software I use) and started cleaning up old web directories and installing the latest WP build. I should note that I’m really simplifying this entire process which involved way too many annoying steps, switching between two laptops, periods of breaks to go do other things that I actually planned on doing today that did not involve WordPress or blogs, and plenty of moments of panic, anger, and sheer frustration. It looks like Google has lifted the ban on this blog but not on the one on my portfolio. I fixed up the blog on my portfolio just a few hours ago so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it will be back to normal tomorrow morning.
I went for a run in the midst of all this mess to clear my mind and actually accomplish the workout that I had planned on doing today before this whole stupid thing started. As I was running, I started thinking very seriously about just shutting off both of my blogs. I’ve never been very good about blogging on my portfolio – I never seem to have enough things to say about technology that I would be willing to share in public, rather than express more privately at work. I do blog here on a more frequent basis but that’s not saying much. I’m no longer an uninhibited 21 year old sharing any little thought that comes across my mind (I don’t even do that on Twitter or Facebook). I’m far more concerned than I ever have in my life about my privacy and the image I present online. This sort of stuff used to be really fun for me but I no longer get much pleasure around crafting my own little online identity. I really can’t think of a place online right now that is as private, anonymous, and fun as blogging used to feel. Now I just think about who will read it and what they’ll think or if whatever awesome idea or revelation I have will be stolen by somebody else.
But for whatever reason, I can’t see myself shutting down this blog anytime soon. Maybe it is because I’ve had some sort of blog for nine years. But I also think there is something very attractive about this format itself – the promise of an audience (but judging by the comments I don’t get, I don’t think anybody actually reads this blog anymore) and that dream that one day this blog could become something more (even though I know that building a popular blog requires a lot of hard work and luck).
Sometimes I wish I could just get myself to write all the ideas and thoughts I have floating in my head in my paper journal or the Word document I started about a year ago to kick off writing a book about my various life experiences. But for whatever reason, I’m more likely to write here than I am in either of those places, which I find rather perplexing. After all, what is so different about this giant text box than the giant text box in Word?! I have a couple of ideas (lack of editing tools make writing faster + notion that somebody might leave a comment) but I’m not 100% sure. I am hoping that this little incident will get me to dust off that Word document to write about those things that I just can’t share here (heck something happened just a few days ago that is blog-worthy but not appropriate for public consumption).

