I know everyone is expected to be overjoyed with the prospect of a new year and a new slate but I really hate this time of the year. Here are the top ten things I hate about January:

  1. The “Happy New Year” Greeting - Why must everyone wish me a happy new year? Does the guy bagging my groceries really care what kind of a year I have? And why must I reciprocate the greeting? You’re going to have a good year or a bad year, regardless of what I say.
  2. New Year’s Resolutions - Why is there such pressure to resolve to change your life? Why can’t people make resolutions the other eleven months of the year?
  3. Tax Commercials - Yes! We know April 15th is coming! That’s like constantly reminding somebody of a root canal.
  4. Turbo Tax Emails - Trust me Intuit, I want my tax refund just as much as you want my $50 but sending me emails every week reminding me to do my taxes won’t make my W2 arrive any sooner.
  5. The Christmas Aftermath - Even more annoying than attempting to explain to people why you don’t celebrate a holiday of a religion you don’t practice is trying to decide how to answer, “How was your Christmas?” Do I leave it at “fine” or do I re-explain that I still don’t celebrate Christmas?
  6. Inquiries About New Year’s Resolutions - Contrary to number 2, I totally get sucked into making resolutions this time of the year. But why do people care what I resolve to do?
  7. The First-Week-In-January Gym Goers - Even more annoying than people who don’t follow my one-elliptical-[insert cardio machine I’m currently using]-buffer-rule are the people who only start working out in January. They clog up the gym and lessen my chance of finding a decent machine. I worked out throughout the entire year in 2007 so that one year of regular exercise means that I’ve earned the right to roll my eyes and make other people unwelcome. Quit now January Gym Goer!
  8. Generic “Happy New Year” Txts - Do you really think that sending me a generic txt that I KNOW you so totally sent to everybody on your phone is a proper way of wishing me a happy new year? As if! Even the guy bagging my groceries could do better than that!
  9. Recycled Health Stories - If it weren’t for the new haircuts and clothes, I would have thought The Today Show and CNN recycled the same health stories every January - stop smoking, lose weight, exercise, etc.
  10. Weight Loss Ads - This year, Nutrisystem seems to be the worst offender, followed by Slimfast, Yoplait, and Special K. Even worse than watching these at home, is spotting them on the TVs at the gym. I get it already! I’m already at the gym, now leave me alone!

Hmmm, who knew I had such pent-up issues with January? Happy new year! ;)